My Corner of the World

A mother’s job is to teach her children not to need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success.                                    ― Rochelle B. Weinstein, Somebody's Daughter .

The year was 1999, it was December and everyone was worried about Y2k. Would our digital world come to a silent halt as the date in the computers changed to 2000? Would the world be in complete chaos as every automated product stopped working from one change in a number at midnight on January 1? That was the backdrop for how the world looked on December 4, 1999. I personally was a college student just trying to make it through my last semester of classes before the birth of my first baby. I was sitting at home in my apartment on December 4, 1999 trying to get some work done. I had sent my husband to the grocery store to buy some food, so you know I must not have been feeling pretty bad because I wasn't out shopping with him. Actually, my feet were swollen to the size of an NBA basketball player's and it was extremely uncomfortable for me to walk around due to both the feet swelling and all of the Braxton Hicks contractions that I was experiencing. Healthwise, this was my worst ...

My teen and tween don't shower very much, ugh gross! My children don't bathe regularly and I'm okay with it. Well... not really, not when I'm sitting next to them, or hugging them good night, or when I have to pass by them, or when they're standing next to someone I admire, or when they're talking to other people we know, or when they're anywhere outside of their bedrooms.... The good thing about knowing that your 12 year old and your 15 year are not taking regular showers is that you can feel secure knowing that they're not in a relationship with another tween or teen. I keep telling myself that if my son had a girlfriend, he would be taking showers because what girl would want to get close to him when he hasn't showered for 4 days and also doesn't think he needs to to use his deodorant. As his mother, I just don't even know what more I can say. My husband and I both say things like, "you don't smell very good" and "...

and feeling like a failure. (I want to make this topic into a regular column.) I think this is something that we women are facing day in, day out. We're all so busy with our kids, our homes, our careers, our husbands, our yard, the decorations, our pets, our parents, you name it. We want to achieve success in every aspect of our lives and we compare ourselves to our friends and think, "She's got it all together and she makes it look so easy. How does she do it?" And then we feel like a failure, envisioning a big giant, red "F" on our female report card. I do it all the time. Feeling like a failure has dominated my thinking in so many ways that I'm not even aware of it most of the time. I've realized recently that I don't accept praise very well. It's hard for me to take credit for things that may seem great about me, when I feel like a failure in so many other facets of my life. Each time I am complimented, for example, I start thinking of...

Christmas threw up all over my living room! Yesterday we set up our Christmas tree. It's very slim and came adorned only with branches and some white lights. I was thinking I'd leave it like that for a while, but was thwarted by the exuberance of my (cute) 6 year old daughter. She helped me fluff the branches on our artificial tree and then excitedly ran off. I thought she was done helping. Wrong! She quickly returned with several of our Christmas tubs and proceeded to unpack them, in the hopes of locating some ornaments to decorate the tree with. She did this completely on her own initiative, lugging bins all the way from the garage to the living room while even climbing a flight of stairs with them. How did I not notice she had that kind of energy and drive? And how do you tell your (cute) little daughter to stop putting ugly, homemade by the kids, family heirloom Christmas ornaments on the tree? I didn't really have a choice.  So now my house is cluttered up with bi...

If you are not blessed with a teenager in your home yet, just wait. Your time will come. Probably every parent wonders at some point what they did to deserve a teenager who thinks he knows everything. In my case, I know I deserve it. I was a teenager with a very strong sense of justice who would come out and present a whole defense argument for every little issue that came up between my parents and my siblings that, I know now, was pretty much none of my business. I was the in-home & self-appointed public defender. I can see why my parents always said that I'd make a good lawyer. And I realize now that I must've been pretty irritating....but I still believe I had the best of intentions. My solution for handling a know-it-all teenager? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't take the bait because I know I can't win. There's nothing you can respond with that will garner this response that you would really like to hear, something like: "Wow, tThat's a rea...