My teen and tween don't shower very much, ugh gross!
My children don't bathe regularly and I'm okay with it. Well... not really, not when I'm sitting next to them, or hugging them good night, or when I have to pass by them, or when they're standing next to someone I admire, or when they're talking to other people we know, or when they're anywhere outside of their bedrooms....The good thing about knowing that your 12 year old and your 15 year are not taking regular showers is that you can feel secure knowing that they're not in a relationship with another tween or teen. I keep telling myself that if my son had a girlfriend, he would be taking showers because what girl would want to get close to him when he hasn't showered for 4 days and also doesn't think he needs to to use his deodorant.
As his mother, I just don't even know what more I can say. My husband and I both say things like, "you don't smell very good" and "you should take a shower," and some other stuff that's probably not very nice, but on the teenager scale of rebellious teenager behavior this is not such a bad problem to have. This not the battle I'm willing to fight to the death. I generally give him about 4 days of enjoying his natural eau-de-Seth, and sharing the love with everyone he sees, until I reach the point where I inform him that we will not be going anywhere until he's taken a shower.
And I truly have no idea where he found so many kind, non-judgmental friends who are willing to accept him, smell and all, without saying hurtful things to him, but I feel very lucky because he seems to have very good friends who are respectful and kind to adults and can tolerate his smell without saying anything to him about it.
My 12 year old daughter, however, is a completely different story. She doesn't shower very often and she's getting to the point where she needs to actually start using her deodorant daily. I keep trying to tactfully suggest that she put on deodorant and she keeps not picking up on the hints unless I'm very direct. She'll tell me "I took a shower yesterday," like that was recent or something, and then when I ask, "And did you use deodorant?" I get, "well no, I didn't have it with me."
I don't want to embarrass her, but I also don't want her to be ostracized by her friends and find out the hard way that it's just more socially acceptable to smell good (or at least neutral) by showering and wearing deodorant. Girls seem to notice these little details that are lost on boys. I remember in school the girls would notice and call out names of kids who smelled bad. The boys would be oblivious to all this and would come running in from recess, after playing soccer or basketball the entire time, smelling like stinky armpits and they'd stay like that for the rest of the afternoon and it wouldn't even phase them.
And I know that when I tell my son that he smells, he's proud of it, like it's some sort of an accomplishment to be the worst-smelling guy around or that guy who can go the longest # of days without having to break down and take a shower. He currently has a cast on his arm now, too, which is making things even more challenging for him on this issue, because he thinks he has a good excuse to not shower.
That's all for Awkward confessions about my kids for now! Someday my kids may actually start reading my blog and then I'll have to find another way of coping with their obstinacy.
Comments