I have been "working" in my home as a stay-at-home mom for the past 15 years. Sometimes I've loved it and sometimes I've found it very, very difficult and have been lonely and even depressed. Somewhere along the line, I developed an acceptance of the job of stay-at-home mom and I became proud of it. I still don't love answering the question that other moms pose to me, "And what do you do? Do you work?" There's nowhere to go after that. I can only answer their close-ended question with a negative, (what's the opposite of an affirmation?)
I was just talking with someone at church on Sunday-- a teacher, who was telling me how she was getting ready for the next school year and she was telling me how it's difficult, but then she interspersed her comments with the statement, "I've never been a fan of it." I said, "Of what, public school?" And she said, "Of mothers working." I processed that and realized that, although I've never been a working mother, I am a fan of mothers working. I think it's great that women today have so many options available to them. I, myself, have never felt like the ideal mother even though, on the outside, to someone looking at my lifestyle I might appear to be the poster mom for stay-at-home mothers. I know that plenty of my time spent staying at home with my kids, is actually time spent tuning out from my kids-- (ahem how do you think I found time to write this blog?) I know that women have a lot of energy and a lot to offer the world. Some women are able to work while being at home with their children and others have to leave their homes to work in their chosen careers. The nature of work is changing in our society and, while it is more possible to work from home nowadays, thanks to technology and other changes, I'm still not one of those mothers. Right now, I work at writing my blog and at writing in my journal and I work to remodel our home and to keep our freezer and refrigerator stocked with wholesome foods, but none of that is the kind of work that other moms are asking me about.
And, sorry, but just asking the question is a little bit of an insult to the mom who has opted not to work. It's like saying, "If you answer yes, meh, whatever, you might get upset, but oh well, we won't be friends anyway because I don't understand you anyway." That's the message that's sent, but they usually say something like, "Four kids? How do you do it?"
I'm so glad that I was not born 50 or 100 years ago where my worth would have been measured by how well I keep house because, sadly, even with all the modern conveniences we have now, I still feel lacking in that department.
I was just talking with someone at church on Sunday-- a teacher, who was telling me how she was getting ready for the next school year and she was telling me how it's difficult, but then she interspersed her comments with the statement, "I've never been a fan of it." I said, "Of what, public school?" And she said, "Of mothers working." I processed that and realized that, although I've never been a working mother, I am a fan of mothers working. I think it's great that women today have so many options available to them. I, myself, have never felt like the ideal mother even though, on the outside, to someone looking at my lifestyle I might appear to be the poster mom for stay-at-home mothers. I know that plenty of my time spent staying at home with my kids, is actually time spent tuning out from my kids-- (ahem how do you think I found time to write this blog?) I know that women have a lot of energy and a lot to offer the world. Some women are able to work while being at home with their children and others have to leave their homes to work in their chosen careers. The nature of work is changing in our society and, while it is more possible to work from home nowadays, thanks to technology and other changes, I'm still not one of those mothers. Right now, I work at writing my blog and at writing in my journal and I work to remodel our home and to keep our freezer and refrigerator stocked with wholesome foods, but none of that is the kind of work that other moms are asking me about.
And, sorry, but just asking the question is a little bit of an insult to the mom who has opted not to work. It's like saying, "If you answer yes, meh, whatever, you might get upset, but oh well, we won't be friends anyway because I don't understand you anyway." That's the message that's sent, but they usually say something like, "Four kids? How do you do it?"
I'm so glad that I was not born 50 or 100 years ago where my worth would have been measured by how well I keep house because, sadly, even with all the modern conveniences we have now, I still feel lacking in that department.
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